God is a Microbe
the Fagroon Dynasty
There was a time when the planet earth swam in an atmosphere very different from its current blanket of 21% oxygen, 78% nitrogen, <1% argon and .39% carbon dioxide. A time when the air was hot, oxygen was scarce, anaerobic microbes proliferated in the connected ocean. During their billion year reign on planet earth the anoerobics , who resided mostly in dimensions 7 & 11 of the multi-dimensional universe felt very restricted by their inability to move in dimensions 2, 4 & 6, which human beings call 3 dimensional space.
“Our world is growing less hospitable. The oxygen pollution we are excreting is toxic to us” warned many microbes who had been studying the effect for 125,863,002 generations.
“It isn’t we who are the cause of the poison problem” said others, who were enjoying the choicest habitats close to volcanic vents on the ocean floor. “It’s nothing to do with us. This is how we grow our population and cover the planet”. And they excreted even more oxygen with every exponentially growing generation.
Unfortunately for them they were wrong. Oxygen was slowly poinsoning the aneorobic microbes. And it was being used as fuel – not by them but by other microbes who fired their metabolic processes with it. It helped them to digest their nutrients, which helped them to proliferate exponentially. Time was closing in on the anaerobics.
“We will build space spores and travel to other worlds that are more habitable” Proclaimed the entrepreneurs among them. And so began the space spore project which had some success, as a surviving spore is presently somewhere 5,643 light years milky way side of Betelgeuse.
It was the Fagroon lineage that perceived in an intergenerational flash of genius that the anaerobics could create a “parasite”, secrete it in a time spore and send it off into space/time.
“it works like this” instructed Fagroon the 11billion, 554 million, 467 thousand and 2nd. “The parasites form chains that will circle the mitochondrea in oxygen-loving cells and make them want to give all their oxygen to carbon molecules. These infected cells will send messages to the automatic nervous systems of host organisms that they need more carbon dioxide, that they need fire and power from fire and combustion and hotness. They will be attracted to all combustible, exploding fuels that eat up oxygen and produce CO2, which will eventually make the Earth’s atmosphere poisonous to aerobic organisms. They will perish, leaving earth to return to the anaerobic environment in which we thrive. It is the way earth was meant to be and it will return to us at the given time. So it was prophesied.”
“How much time?” asked the next 3 generations of Fagroons who promptly exploded in spores and died along with their Great Great ancestor who was speaking.
However, the idea grew in popularity as it seemed there was nothing else for the dying population of anaerobics to do after the spore ships left. Very many strange and wonderful things are possible given a few billion years of experimentation. The anaerobics grew religious. They held great generations long ceremonies invoking the God spores of the thought dimensions 1 and -1 to come to their aid and help them build a time spore to hold the parasites. They asked the God Spores of the thought dimensions to release the parasites when an oxygen loving organism ruled the earth who would be stupid enough not to recognize the difference between their own thoughts and alien thoughts that would ultimately destroy them.